A Visit From Mama
by Marleen23
Summary: When Klink's mother and brother visit, the prisoners make some interesting discoveries and it has everyone wondering: Who's running the camp? Klink or Mama?
1. Chapter 1: A Surprise Visit

The men from Barracks 2 were outside, engaged in a game of volleyball, when an antique car came through the gates and stopped in front of the Kommandant's office. The men paused their game to take a look at the car's occupants. The driver, a man who Hogan guessed must be approaching fifty, got out and walked over to the passenger side. He opened the door and an elderly woman got out. She looked to be in her late sixties or early seventies.

The woman started up the steps. The man started to follow, then his eyes fell on the prisoners positioned on both sides of the net. Almost immediately, he headed over to join them.

"Wolfgang! Where do you think you're going?" the woman protested, as she noticed him leaving.

"I've been wanting to give this game a try ever since I saw the Americans demonstrate it at the 1924 Olympics," was the man's reply. "It looks like fun, Mama. I'll be back in a minute."

"Well, make it quick," the woman conceded.

Carter held the ball. Wolfgang stepped up beside him. "Mind if I give it a go?" he asked.

Carter glanced at Hogan, who gave a nod of approval. "Okay," Carter agreed. "You know how?"

"It's been a while since I've seen it done," Wolfgang admitted. "Maybe a quick explanation would help."

Carter quickly explained how to serve the ball, then handed it to the man. Wolfgang brought his hand back and hit the ball quite efficiently, as his mother watched from the porch.

"Nicely done," declared Hogan, walking over to join Carter and Wolfgang. "I'm Colonel Hogan, senior prisoner of war."

Klink chose that moment to step out of his office and join the woman on the porch. Noticing the man at Hogan's side, Klink exclaimed, "Wolfie! What are you doing with my prisoners?"

"Just wanted to give it a try, Willie," Wolfgang answered, as he started for the porch.

"Willie?" repeated Hogan, as he watched the man leave. Then, he spared a puzzled glance at his men, before his attention turned back to the activity on the porch.

"Mama…Wolfgang…why didn't you tell me you were coming?" Klink asked.

"We wanted to surprise you, Liebchen," the woman, obviously Klink's mother, replied. Without another thought, she reached out and quickly hugged her son.

Klink could almost picture his face turning red, as he protested, "Mama, please. Not in front of everyone."

It didn't help matters any that he heard Hogan's chuckle and that Newkirk yelled, "Let's hear it for Mama!" This brought more laughter and muttered approval from the rest of the prisoners.

"Hogan, control your men or there will be reprisals," Klink threatened.

"Party pooper," muttered Hogan, as he turned around and silenced his men.

Klink gave the prisoners a menacing glare, then turned his attention back to his family. "Let's take this reunion inside," he suggested. "After you, Mama."

Klink opened the door for his mother to enter. Then, Wolfgang and Klink followed her in.

"So, they are Klink's mother and brother," stated Kinch, as the prisoners lost interest in the now empty porch.

"Obviously," agreed Hogan. "And if this is any indication, their visit might prove quite interesting…or at least, a useful distraction for Klink."

"Klink's brother seemed to be a likable guy," observed Carter.

"YOU'D think so," Newkirk declared. "Considering this is the chap that blew up the factory where he was working. Mixing chemicals in the cellar, I believe. Sound familiar?"

- - -

Klink was seated behind his desk. His mother and brother were seated in chairs in front.

"So, Mama, how long do you plan to visit?" Klink asked.

"I haven't decided yet," his mother replied. "With Wolfgang still out of work, we're in no hurry to get back."

"I suppose you have a room at the hotel in town," Klink guessed, secretly hoping they did.

"Of course not. Wilhelm, we came to see you. How are we to do that if we're in town and you're here? You can put us up, can't you?"

Klink considered it a moment. "Well, I suppose I could let the two of you use the VIP quarters. If other guests should arrive during your visit, you can have my bedroom, Mama, and I'll sleep on the couch. Wolfgang…now, that might be a problem." Klink paused a moment deep in thought. Then, suddenly his expression brightened as he had what he believed to be a terrific idea. "I know. He can bunk with the prisoners in Barracks 2. He can share Hogan's quarters."

"Hogan?"

Wolfgang answered this time. "Ja, Mama. The senior prisoner of war. I met him outside earlier. Seemed like a nice fellow."

Klink gave Wolfgang a disgruntled look. "Hogan?" he grumbled. "Ja. He's nice enough, sometimes. But too often, that man can be terribly annoying."

"If he's that bad, then why place Wolfgang there?" Klink's mother wanted to know.

Klink smiled. "Revenge." Oh, how he savored the sound of that word.

"On which one?" his mother wondered.

Klink's grin seemed to grow. "Both," he admitted, envisioning the turbulence his idea might cause.

"Now, Wilhelm. You be nice to your brother," his mother ordered. "He has had his share of bad luck lately…the factory closing and all."

"And no job at the moment," Wolfgang added.

"Well…it's not my fault you blew up the factory," Klink huffily noted.

Their mother's eyes seem to flash. "Shh," she insisted, quietly. "That's supposed to be a secret. The investigators believe it was the Allied bombers(1). You don't want your brother getting into trouble, do you?"

Klink pondered the possibility. His mother grew impatient. "Wilhelm!" she practically shouted.

"No, Mama. I guess I don't," Klink timidly responded, sounding like a chastised schoolboy. "Now, how about I show you the VIP quarters so you can get settled in. Then, I'll talk to Hogan about having a special dinner prepared for this evening. I'm sure you'll enjoy it.

Both his mother and brother seemed surprised at that revelation. "You discuss dinner plans with prisoners?" his mother asked.

"Ordinarily, no," Klink replied. "But sometimes I want something special prepared. There's this terrific little French chef in Hogan's barracks, see? Everyone seems impressed with his cooking. I utilize his talents from time to time. I think this evening is an appropriate occasion. Sort of a welcome dinner for my family."

Klink's mother appeared disappointed. "You don't want to eat Mama's cooking, Liebchen?"

"Not tonight, if you don't mind," Klink quickly stated, trying to soothe her. "You two just got here. Take it easy. Enjoy yourself. Give us a little time to catch up on things. You can cook breakfast if you like."

"All right, Wilhelm," his mother conceded. "If that will make you happy. I'll prepare you something special in the morning."

"Danke," acknowledged Klink, as he stood up and started to walk around his desk. "Now, if you two will follow me, I'll show you to your quarters."

- - -

Time was short so Klink decided not to waste time sending for Hogan. Once he'd seen his family settled in, he headed for Barracks 2 and entered without knocking. Hogan and his team were seated at the table. A few other prisoners were sitting or laying on their bunks.

"Hogan, I'd like a word with you," Klink declared. "In your quarters."

"Trying to hide from Mama?" Hogan quipped.

Klink scowled, clearly annoyed. "Hogan, I'm not in the mood for your insolence. I want to speak with you. Now."

"All right, I'm coming," Hogan responded, unable to keep the small grin from his face. Hogan headed for his quarters and Klink followed. Once they were inside and the door was closed, Hogan asked, "Now, just what's so important?"

"I need LeBeau to prepare a special dinner this evening…for Mama and Wolfgang."

Hogan frowned. "On such short notice? LeBeau's not going to be too happy about this."

"I don't care if he's happy or not," declared Klink. "So long as he cooks dinner."

"There will have to be special concessions," Hogan insisted.

Klink was expecting this. "Like?"

"An extra hour of electricity every night this week. And two extra slices of white bread for each prisoner."

Klink tried to bargain. "A half hour of electricity and one slice of white bread."

With a smug smile, Hogan shook his head. He had Klink right where he wanted him. "I said special concessions," he reminded Klink. "No bargaining. An hour of electricity and two slices of bread. Either that or no chef."

After shaking his fist and grunting, Klink conceded, "Oh, all right. But he'd better fix something special. And I expect Carter to help serve."

"Okay, I'll convince them," Hogan agreed. "What time would you like dinner?"

"Seven."

"Good. Then, I'll send them over in plenty of time to prepare."

"Danke." Klink nodded in acknowledgement and left the room. Hogan paused a moment before following, to plan how he was going to present the request to his men. Then, he headed back towards the common room.

* * *

1 The Gypsy


	2. Chapter 2: Jumping At Frogs

LeBeau's dinner was a success as usual. Klink and his family were seated at the table, having finished the main course. Carter began clearing the plates.

The three Germans were laughing in response to a recollection of some childhood event. "Tell me, Wilhelm. Are you still afraid of frogs?" Klink's mother asked, once they had regained their composure.

Carter noticed this bring an involuntary shudder from Klink. "I don't even want to discuss it," Klink adamantly declared.

As Carter headed for the kitchen carrying the empty plates, LeBeau entered with the tray of dessert. When he handed Klink's mother hers, she said, "Danke. You're the chef?"

"Oui, Frau Klink. I am," LeBeau answered.

The woman smiled. "I want you to know that your dinner was wunderbar. You are an excellent chef."

LeBeau smiled in return and bowed politely. "Merci, gnädige Frau. I'm glad you enjoyed it."

LeBeau returned to the kitchen. A short time later, Carter returned to the room. He picked up the wine bottle from a nearby stand and approached the table. "Some more wine?" he offered.

"Ja, bitte," Klink's mother replied. After Carter had refilled her glass, she gave a slight nod of acknowledgement. "Danke."

Carter grinned as he started to refill Wolfgang's glass. "Thank you, ma'am. Anytime."

"You seem like such a nice boy," Klink's mother observed. "You can call me Mama."

"But Mama, he's a prisoner. And an American," Klink protested, as Carter filled his glass.

"And also very polite and sincere. You're not trying to tell your Mama what to do, are you, Wilhelm?" Klink's mother gave him a slightly menacing glare.

"Well, no, Mama. It's just…Oh, all right. He can call you Mama, if that's what you want."

"It's all right, ma'am…" Then, noticing the woman's look of disapproval start to turn on him, Carter quickly added, "Uh…I mean, Mama."

"That's a good boy," declared Klink's mother, as Carter returned the bottle to the stand and the family started to eat their dessert.

- - -

After they had finished at Klink's, LeBeau and Carter returned to Barracks 2. "How'd it go?" asked Hogan, when they entered.

"In Frau Klink's words, wunderbar," replied LeBeau.

"Yeah. Mama really enjoyed it," Carter stated.

Newkirk stepped closer to Carter, his disapproval evident. "Mama? Carter, she's a Kraut. She's Klink's mother, not yours."

With smug defiance, Carter insisted, "I know that. But she seems like a nice lady. And she told me to call her Mama."

"Guys, let's get back to what's important," Hogan suggested. "Did they discuss anything useful?"

"I was in the kitchen most of the time," LeBeau answered.

"Not really," Carter replied. "They mostly discussed old times. Klink's and Wolfgang's childhood. Stuff like that." Carter chuckled at that recollection.

"What's so funny?" Hogan wanted to know.

"Seems that our Kommandant is afraid of frogs--or at least was, as a boy."

Hogan grinned. "Hmm…that could prove interesting."

Newkirk glanced at their commanding officer. "You have something in mind, Gov'nor?"

"Possibly," Hogan responded, his grin broadening, as he imagined Klink's reaction. "Klink may have another unexpected visitor."

Carter was puzzled. "Huh?"

Hogan noticed that the rest of the men seemed just as puzzled. "You'll see. Tomorrow," he promised cryptically, as he headed for his quarters. "Tomorrow."

- - -

Klink was just finishing with roll call the following morning. His mother and Wolfgang were standing nearby, observing. "Okay, Schultz, you can dismiss the prisoners," Klink ordered.

"Just a minute, sir," Hogan insisted. "I've got a request I'd like to make. For all of us."

Klink appeared impatient. "All right, Hogan. What is it?"

"The men would like to have some hot water for their showers. They're getting tired of the cold ones."

"Is that all?" asked Klink, sarcastically. "The showers are fine. Request denied."

Before Hogan had a chance to protest, Klink's mother approached with a protest of her own. "Just a minute, Wilhelm. You mean these men have been taking cold showers?"

"Ja, Mama. They're only prisoners," Klink responded.

"Who get dirty," his mother insisted. "How do you expect them to kill the germs with cold water?"

"And you don't want germy prisoners, do you?" Hogan pitched in.

Standing beside Hogan, Newkirk pulled the front of his shirt forward a bit and sniffed. "I didn't think we were that bad, sir," he declared, loud enough for only Hogan to hear.

"Quiet, Newkirk," Hogan admonished, just as quietly. "You would like a hot shower, wouldn't you?"

"Sounds divine, sir."

"Then, let us handle this."

Hogan turned his attention back to Klink and his mother in time to hear the woman say, "And if I were you, I'd hold an inspection afterwards. Make sure no one forgot to wash behind their ears."

"But Mama, these are grown men we are talking about," Klink feebly argued.

"Who are just boys that have grown up. And I know all about boys and their habits. I raised you and Wolfgang, didn't I?"

Klink nodded, apparently caving in. "Ja, Mama, you did."

"Then, check behind their ears," his mother reiterated.

"Of course, Mama. We will." Klink glanced over at Hogan. "You heard that, Hogan?"

Hogan couldn't help smiling at the thought. "Yes, sir, I did. Does this mean we're going to get hot showers?"

"Yes, Hogan, it does," Klink reluctantly conceded. "Just make sure you save some hot water for us."

"Of course, sir. You can count on that," Hogan promised, not caring if there would be any left or not. "And on behalf of all the men, I'd like to thank you for granting our request." Hogan glanced at Klink's mother. "And you, too, gnädige Frau, for all your help."

Klink's mother smiled maternally at Hogan. "Like I told your man last night, you may call me Mama."

"Whatever you say…" Hogan's voice trailed off, as he took a moment to glance over at Klink to smile smugly. Then, his attention returned to the woman, as he finished, "Mama."

Without waiting for Schultz to do it, Klink said, "All right, men, dismissed." Then, he turned huffily and headed for his office.

- - -

Klink was seated at his desk, deeply engrossed in paperwork. He paused a moment to get something from his desk drawer. As the drawer came open, something leaped out and landed in his lap. Something small and green.

"Ahh!" yelled Klink, as he noticed what it was. Almost immediately, he jumped to his feet, brushing the offensive creature onto the floor. He hurried towards the door and quickly left the room, jerking the door closed behind him. Fortunately, he found Schultz lingering in the outer office. "Schultz, get rid of it," he ordered, pointing towards his office.

Schultz was puzzled. "It?"

"It," Klink repeated, nearly gasping for breath. "In my office. Just get rid of it."

A still puzzled Schultz warily entered the office, not sure if he wanted to know what 'it' Klink was talking about. After a few minutes, a more relaxed Schultz returned, carrying something in his hands. "I'm not for sure what you were talking about, Herr Kommandant," he stated. "All I could find was this cute little froggy."

As Schultz held the object a little closer for Klink to see, a terrified Klink drew back. "Keep it away from me!" he ordered. "Just get rid of it…Now!"

"All right," agreed Schultz, as he headed for the door to the outside. Schultz affectionately tickled the area under the frog's chin. "You are such a cutie," he told the amphibian, as he opened the door and carried it out.

Klink waited a moment to allow them time to get clear. Then, he followed Schultz out and headed for the VIP quarters. He entered without knocking. Wolfgang and his mother were both in the living room. His mother was seated in an armchair, doing some knitting. Wolfgang was lying on the couch, reading a book.

Klink stormed over and towered over his brother. "I am not amused," he snarled.

"What are you talking about?" a puzzled Wolfgang asked, as he closed the book and sat up.

"You know I'm afraid of frogs," accused Klink.

His mother lay her knitting in her lap, curious to discover what was going on. "Something happen?" she wondered.

"I found a frog in my drawer," answered Klink. "If that is Wolfgang's idea of revenge--"

"It wasn't me," Wolfgang insisted with a smile. "Great idea, but I've been here the whole time."

"He's right, you know," his mother agreed. "He's never been more than a few feet away since we arrived."

Klink still wasn't convinced. "At night, too?"

Klink's mother nodded. "In his room next to mine. I'm a light sleeper. I'd have heard him if he went out. Besides, you don't leave the door to your office unlocked, do you, Liebchen?"

"Of course not," Klink replied. Then, suddenly, it dawned on Klink. If Wolfgang wasn't behind it, he had a pretty good idea who was. "Sorry, Wolfgang," he apologized, as he started for the door. "I'll get back with the two of you later. I have something to do, first."

- - -

As Klink approached the porch to his office, he ran into Schultz, who was just returning from releasing the frog outside the fence. "Tell Colonel Hogan I want to see him in my office…NOW!" ordered Klink.

"Jawohl, Herr Kommandant," acknowledged Schultz, as he started off towards Barracks 2.

Klink watched him take a few steps, then briskly headed inside to his office.

After only a few minutes, the door opened and Hogan entered. "You wanted to see me, Kommandant," Hogan stated, as he walked over to stand in front of Klink's desk.

"You were responsible," Klink shot back at him, almost immediately.

Hogan started to reach for Klink's cigar box. "Surprised you noted my efficiency, sir."

Klink slapped the hand aside. "I did not call you here to discuss your efficiency…or rather, your lack of it. I'd like to know, what was a frog doing in my drawer?"

Hogan grinned. "Maybe he was cold, sir," he suggested, flippantly.

"And maybe he had a little help, eh?" suggested Klink, rising and taking a few menacing steps towards Hogan. "I know he didn't get there on his own."

Hogan pretended to be offended. "And you're blaming me. After everything we've been through, you think I'd stoop that low--"

Klink interrupted him, this time being the one to smile. "You know those hot showers you were going to get. Forget it. I'm rescinding that privilege."

Hogan didn't seem too concerned. "What will Mama say?"

Klink scowled. "Who's running this camp? Me or Mama?"

With a smirk, Hogan replied, "I'll have to think about that…In the meantime, I'll inform Mama of your decision."

Hogan started for the door. As Hogan reached to open it, Klink wilted. "Hogan, wait," Klink pleaded, desperately. "The prisoners can have their hot showers. Just leave Mama out of this."

"All right," Hogan agreed. "Now, about that frog…"

Klink shuddered. "Forget the frog. I wish I could. I still have my suspicions that you were behind it--or at least, know who was. But that's not important now. Just see that it doesn't happen again."

Hogan nodded. "You can depend on me, sir. Trust me."

Waving his fist in the air as he grunted, Klink said, "Hogan, dismissed."

Hogan left the room and a defeated Klink sunk back down into his chair. Elbows on his desk, Klink buried his face in his hands in frustration.


	3. Chapter 3: A Dwarf Called Dopey

Later that afternoon, Klink's mother entered his office. "Something wrong, Mama?" he asked.

"Nein, Wilhelm," she replied. "I just wanted to get your permission. I thought I would cook dinner tonight if I may use your kitchen."

Klink stood, walked around his desk and with a smile, placed his hand on his mother's shoulder. "Why Mama, that's a marvelous idea. It seems like such a long time since I've eaten one of your delicious dinners. I'd love it."

"Good. I'm glad you approve. I'd also like to invite the two prisoners who cooked and served last night's dinner. Also, the senior POW, Colonel Hogan, I believe."

"But, Mama, they're prisoners," Klink protested. "And Allies."

"Who get just as hungry as we do. The dinner last night was so delicious. I just wanted to return the favor."

Klink was still reluctant. "But they're the enemy…and there's rules against fraternization."

"I'm not inviting them to fraternize," his mother assured him, smiling sweetly. "I'm inviting them to eat. Besides, I wouldn't mind getting to know them a little. Especially if we lose the VIP quarters and Wolfgang has to bunk with them."

Klink finally conceded. "All right, Mama, if you insist. I guess we can make an exception."

"Danke. Now, I'll head on over to your kitchen and see if you have everything I need."

"Okay," Klink agreed. "And if you find anything you need, let me know. I'll send Schultz to see if we have it in the mess hall…or into town, if necessary, to pick it up."

"Wunderbar," declared his mother, enthusiastically. "I'll get started right away. I know you're going to love tonight's dinner."

As he watched his mother hasten from the room, Klink shook his head and smiled fondly. Having Mama around had its good points and it bad points. Of course, tonight, it looked like he was going to get to enjoy some of the good.

- - -

A short time later, Hogan entered Klink's office. "Schultz said you wanted to see me," Hogan stated. "If this is about that frog--"

Klink shuddered, as he interrupted. "Forget about the frog! That isn't why I asked you here. You, LeBeau and Carter are to come to my quarters for dinner this evening."

"LeBeau prepared dinner last night," protested Hogan. "If you want his services this soon--"

Klink interrupted, again. "Will you shut up and let me explain?" he ordered. "I'm not asking him to cook dinner. The three of you are invited as guests. Mama's cooking dinner."

"There's rules against fraternization," argued Hogan.

"Try telling that to Mama," declared Klink, with a scowl. "I did. This was her idea…and she's not taking 'no' for an answer."

Hogan considered it for a moment. "Then, I guess we'll be there," he finally conceded. "Seven, again?"

Klink nodded. "Probably. I'll send word, otherwise…And Hogan?"

"Yeah?"

"Try to be on your good behavior."

Hogan grinned. "Always."

"I wish. That's all for now. Dismissed."

Hogan started to leave, then paused in the doorway and looked back. "Did you want me to close the door, Kommandant? Or would you prefer I left it open in case any more frogs were cold?"

Pointing his finger and practically shouting, Klink ordered, "Out!"

Hogan's chuckle could not be missed, as he continued on, pulling the door closed behind him.

- - -

Klink's family and their three guests were seated around the table in Klink's quarters. They were about halfway through the main course. Klink was seated at one end of the table, with his mother at the other. Hogan was seated at Klink's left, with LeBeau beside him. Wolfgang was seated at Klink's right, next to Carter.

"This dinner is magnifique," LeBeau complemented Klink's mother. "You are a good cook, Mama."

"Danke," Mama acknowledged. "Your meal last night was so delicious. I'm glad I could return the favor."

"Yeah. This is good stuff," agreed Carter, between bites. "What is it, anyway?"

Both Hogan and LeBeau prepared to distract the conversation. Before they could act, however, Mama replied, "It's Hasenpfeffer."

Carter appeared troubled. "Hasenpfeffer!" Then, he glanced at Hogan. "You don't think…" Carter's voice trailed off, as he dreaded to put his fear into words.

Hogan shook his head and tried to sound reassuring. "Probably not," he stated. "There are lots of rabbits in the woods. He's probably safe."

"Schultz purchased the meat from the butcher in town," explained Mama.

"See. It's not Hasenpfeffer," declared Hogan. "Well, I guess, it is. Just, not your Hasenpfeffer."

Mama and the other Germans appeared puzzled. "His Hasenpfeffer?" she wondered.

"A rabbit we captured inside the camp(1)," Carter answered. "LeBeau was planning to make Hasenpfeffer."

"Only Carter decided to let him go," added LeBeau. "But because of our earlier plans, we'd already called him Hasenpfeffer. So, the name stuck."

"He was sort of cute," Carter said. "And I still wish I could have had him for a pet."

"Like I told you before, there's no such thing as one rabbit," Hogan reminded him.

Mama grinned. "Or cat."

The three prisoners gave Mama their full attention. "Or cat?" Hogan repeated, voicing the question they had.

Mama's grin broadened. "Or cat. When Wilhelm was a boy--must have been about six and small for his age."

"Mama, we don't need to discuss this," Klink interrupted, sourly.

"Let's," suggested Hogan, with a grin of his own.

Ignoring both of them, Mama continued, "He was walking home from school one day when he discovered this big, white cat…a stray. Felt sorry for her and came lugging her home, with considerable difficulty, an uphill climb all the way. Turns out, she was starving, poor thing…and definitely pregnant. That's why she was so huge. Gave birth to kittens two days later, six of them."

"Ja. They were a terrific litter of kittens," Klink hastily observed, wishing he could slide under the table. "Healthy, spirited and everything."

Mama smiled fondly at Klink. "Ja. And because of her color, Wilhelm insisted we call her Snow White."

"Let me guess. He named the kittens after the dwarves," stated Carter.

LeBeau waggled his finger as he protested, "But there were only six kittens. There were seven dwarves."

Hogan glanced at Klink, the smile on his face spreading ear to ear. "Which one were you, Kommandant?" he asked. "Dopey?"

"That's what his cousins called him. How did you guess?" Mama wanted to know.

"There needed to be seven…and it does seem to fit," Hogan answered.

Klink shook his fist in the air. "Hoogaan!"

"Boys, be nice," Mama ordered. "I'll have no fighting at the table."

"Sorry, Mama," Klink quickly apologized.

Hogan nodded. "Same here."

"Good," declared Mama, as she slid her chair back and started to rise. "I'll go get dessert."

"Let me help," offered Hogan, sliding his own chair back.

"Danke. I'll appreciate your help," responded Mama, as she picked up some of the dishes and headed for the kitchen. Hogan picked up the rest and soon followed.

- - -

The following morning at roll call, Klink stood addressing the prisoners. "That's why I'd like some volunteers to help," he was saying.

"Mind if me ask a question, sir?" Newkirk asked.

Klink seemed a little irritated by the interruption but decided to comply. "All right, Newkirk. Go ahead."

"Whose dopey idea was this, Dopey?"

"Yeah, Dopey," Carter pitched in. "Who says we want to do it?"

LeBeau nodded. "Oui. What makes you think we're dopey enough to agree?"

Pandemonium had broken out among the other prisoners as they all voiced their opinions, several making sure to include the word dopey. Klink gave them a look of frustration. "Hogan, control your men," he ordered.

"I don't see what the problem is, sir," Hogan argued. "The men were only making an observation. The project does sound dopey if you ask me."

"Well, I wasn't asking you, Hogan. Just control your men…And forget I mentioned it. Dismissed."

Klink whirled around and stormed off towards his office. Uncontrollable laughter followed as the prisoners watched him leave.

* * *

1 Klink vs. the Gonculator


	4. Chapter 4: The Guest None of Them Wanted

Early that afternoon, Klink was seated at his desk, immersed in paperwork. He was interrupted when the guard from the main gate radioed him.

"General Burkhalter is at the main gate," the guard told him.

"Now!" Klink responded, a little frustrated since this would mean moving Mama and Wolfgang. "All right, tell him I'll be right out."

Klink put down the microphone, then headed out. As he passed Hilda's desk, he ordered, "Hilda, get ahold of Schultz. Tell him to help Mama and Wolfgang move their things from the VIP quarters to mine…for now. I'll arrange other quarters for Wolfgang once I'm finished with General Burkhalter."

"Jawohl, Herr Kommandant," acknowledged Hilda, as Klink continued on his way.

- - -

For several hours, Klink was occupied with General Burkhalter. He accompanied him on an inspection of the camp. Then, they reviewed some of the paperwork in Klink's office. Finally, Burkhalter decided to call it a day and headed for his temporary residence in the VIP quarters.

Once Burkhalter had left, Klink ordered Schultz to have Hogan report to his office.

A short time later, Hogan entered. "You wanted to see me, Kommandant," he declared.

Klink managed a pleasant smile. "Yes, Hogan. Have a seat," he invited, in a saccharinely voice. Then, he stood and walked over and poured a glass of Schnapps for each of them.

After handing Hogan his, Klink returned to his chair and sat down. Noticing the cigar box on his desk, he picked it up, opened it, and held it out towards Hogan to offer him one. "Please, help yourself, Colonel Hogan."

Instead of reaching for a cigar, Hogan gave Klink a dubious look. "What is it you want now, Kommandant?"

This response took Klink off guard and he unsuccessfully tried to conceal it. "What makes you think I want something?" he managed to utter.

"Your overwhelming attempts to make me feel at home, for one thing," Hogan replied. "It's too obvious."

Klink explained, "You're going to have a guest in your barracks for the next few days. He can share your quarters."

"An important prisoner?" Hogan guessed, fishing for information.

"My brother, Wolfgang."

Thinking of their operation, Hogan scowled. "You can't do that," he protested. "What about your rules against fraternization?"

Klink glared at Hogan. "I am still the Kommandant of this camp. Therefore, I will assign quarters as I choose. General Burkhalter is using the VIP quarters at the moment. There is not room for both Mama and Wolfgang in mine. He will share your quarters and you and your men will do everything you can to accommodate him. Fail and you will answer to me. Understand?"

Hogan glared icily at Klink. "Perfectly," he snapped. "But the Red Cross is going to hear about this."

That didn't seem to bother Klink. "Tell them…tell anyone you like. By then, General Burkhalter will be gone and Wolfgang moved out of your quarters. Schultz will bring him over shortly. You will make the necessary preparations. Dismissed."

Managing an even icier glare, Hogan stood and headed for the door. "You'll be hearing about this," he threatened, as he jerked open the door and walked out.

- - -

Hogan stormed into Barracks 2. This brought concerned looks to the faces of his team, who were seated at the table.

"Something wrong, Gov'nor?" asked Newkirk.

"Klink's sending his brother over to share my quarters," Hogan bitterly responded. ""We're going to be stuck with him till Burkhalter leaves."

"He can't do that," protested LeBeau, echoing Hogan's previous sentiments almost word for word. "What about their rules against fraternization?"

"I brought that up but Klink didn't seem too concerned," Hogan answered. "And he's going to do it."

"But what about that important mission we've got with the Underground in two days?" Carter wondered. "They've gone to all that trouble of calling in their own expert to lend a hand…and some important regional leader, at that. What are they going to say if we have to postpone?"

"We're not postponing," Hogan insisted. "We'll just have to take turns keeping Wolfgang occupied. Carter, we'll need you later on. You can distract Wolfgang tonight while the rest of us handle the drop pickup."

"Yes, sir," Carter acknowledged.

"Then, LeBeau can handle tomorrow night when the rest of us meet with the Underground and this leader of theirs."

"Oui, mon Colonel," agreed LeBeau.

Hogan shook his head in frustration. "As for the actual mission…well…we're going to be gone considerably longer for that. Distracting Wolfgang then might prove a little more complicated. I'll have to give it some thought. And fellas…I'm open to suggestions."

Amid their chorus of "yes, sir" and "oui, mon Colonel," Hogan turned and half-heartedly headed for his quarters, to make preparations for the guest that none of them wanted.

- - -

LeBeau was stirring something in a pot on the stove when Schultz opened the door and he and Wolfgang entered. Newkirk, Carter and Baker were seated at the table. Baker stood up, walked over to the door to Hogan's quarters, and knocked. "Colonel, our guest is here," he stated.

The door opened and Hogan walked into the room. "Guess this is going to be your new quarters for the next few days," he told Wolfgang, as he walked over to join them.

Wolfgang nodded. "According to my brother, yes. Hope I'm not intruding. This wasn't my idea."

"We're aware of that. We'll find some way to make do. Trust me," Hogan assured him.

"Oui. And you're just in time for supper," LeBeau told him, scooping up a bit of the food into his spoon and holding it out for Wolfgang to taste.

Wolfgang took a bite. "This is delicious."

Schultz stood nearby, his mouth nearly watering. "Cockroach, can I stay for dinner, too?" he asked.

"Only if Klink transfers you to this barracks," LeBeau answered.

Hogan glanced at LeBeau. "And then he gets your bunk and you get the floor." Hogan grinned and then chuckled at the thought of Schultz trying to climb into LeBeau's upper bunk.

"And you haven't been transferred yet. So, if there's nothing else…Out," ordered LeBeau, driving Schultz towards the door.

"Don't push, Cockroach," Schultz responded. Baker opened the door and Schultz went out. "Jolly jokers," Schultz muttered, as he continued on his way.

- - -

After supper, Carter got out their chess set. "Anyone for a game of chess?" he asked.

"Not me," replied Newkirk. "I'm thinking of a game of rummy."

"Me, too," agreed Baker.

"Oui, mes amis," stated LeBeau. "Rummy sounds good."

"How about you, Wolfgang?" Carter suggested. "You look like the sort of man that might prefer chess."

"Ja. I do enjoy the game," Wolfgang admitted. "But if these guys are going to play rummy--"

Carter interrupted him. "We can always play in your quarters…Leave them to their silly game out here."

"You're right," Wolfgang declared. "How about we grab us some coffee, then go get set up? I must warn you, people say I'm a very challenging opponent."

"I've had compliments about my playing, too," Carter responded, not going into detail. "You fill our cups and I'll go start setting up."

Carter took the chess set into Hogan's quarters. Wolfgang filled the two cups and soon followed.

Once they were gone and the door closed, Hogan said, "Okay, we're going to have to move quickly. I don't know how long Carter can keep him occupied. "Baker, get on the radio and tell London we're heading out to make the rendezvous for the drop."

"Yes, sir," Baker acknowledged, heading for their secret bunk entrance.

Hogan glanced at his remaining men. "Newkirk, LeBeau, you two are with me. Let's hurry up and change."

"Right, Gov'nor," Newkirk said, as he put his deck of cards back in his pocket.

LeBeau nodded. "Oui, mon Colonel."

Hogan headed for the tunnel, and Newkirk and LeBeau followed.

- - -

As the Allied plane approached the rendezvous point, Newkirk gave the prearranged signal. Soon, they watched as a box, attached to a parachute, floated towards the ground. They rushed over to where it landed and opened it. Hogan reached inside and pulled out the smaller box of chemicals that it contained.

"Carter's going to feel like a child at Christmas," Newkirk observed.

Hogan grinned at Carter's probable reaction to London's gift. "Yeah, Newkirk. I think you're right. This will keep him hyper till our mission."

LeBeau smiled, too. "Probably be the slowest two days in his life."

Hogan nodded. "Well, let's get this back to our amateur chemist. Then, tomorrow night, we can take him to meet the Underground's expert. That should be a memorable occasion for him."

Newkirk disconnected the parachute, rolled it up, and placed it inside the larger box. "And the next night we turn the Kraut's newest weapons facility into a pile of rubble."

"Right," agreed Hogan, as Newkirk and LeBeau finished concealing the large box behind some nearby bushes. "Let's go."


	5. Chapter 5: Meeting the Expert

The next morning, Newkirk and Carter were busy doing laundry outside their barracks. Carter was washing the clothes and Newkirk carried them over to the line to hang.

Mama and Wolfgang were out for a walk near the Kommandant's office.

Newkirk returned for another load of clothes. As he reached for the newly washed clothes, Carter accidentally splattered some water, drenching most of the front of Newkirk's shirt.

"Watch what you're doing, you idiot!" cried Newkirk. "You don't have to be so careless."

"I'm sorry. It was an accident," Carter apologized.

Newkirk would not be placated. "You're the accident," he countered. "Why they ever allowed you in your army, I'll never know."

Before Carter had a chance to respond, Mama came rushing over, Wolfgang following right behind. "That's enough, Corporal," she declared. "You will go stand in the corner for twenty minutes."

"Grown men don't stand in corners," Newkirk protested.

"You will spend your time in the corner or I'll have Wilhelm sentence you to the day in the cooler. The choice is yours."

Newkirk looked ready to protest further, then decided against it. "All right, I'll stand in the corner," he growled. "But I don't like it."

Mama stared at him sternly. "I doubt Andrew liked being called an idiot, either. Or enjoyed the way you were shouting at him. Next time, perhaps, you will be more considerate when you speak with others."

"It's okay, Mama," Carter tried to assure her. "I'm used to it."

"Well, you shouldn't be," Mama firmly announced. "You're not going to argue with Mama, are you?"

"No, Mama," Carter quickly responded.

"That's a good boy. You finish your laundry." Then, Mama turned her attention back to Newkirk. "And you, go to your corner."

"All right," conceded Newkirk, as he turned and stormed off towards the front of the barracks.

"Wolfgang, go with him," Mama ordered. "Make sure he stays in the corner for the full twenty minutes."

"Ja, Mama," agreed Wolfgang, as he left to follow Newkirk inside.

- - -

Newkirk was too angry to notice Wolfgang following. He entered the barracks and slammed the door shut behind him. He headed for the most secluded corner, as Hogan stepped out of his quarters to investigate the commotion. At the same time, Wolfgang cautiously opened the entry door and stepped inside.

"Newkirk, what's wrong?" asked Hogan, concerned about Newkirk's outburst. Then, noticing the front of Newkirk's shirt, he added, "And what happened to you?"

"It's that idi--" Newkirk started, then stopped himself. "Uh…I mean, Carter. He was doing the laundry and splattered water all over my shirt. I told him what I thought. Now, Mama's sent me to the corner."

Hogan could scarcely believe what he was hearing. "And you're going? Just like that?"

Newkirk's eyes practically flashed in anger. "It was either twenty minutes in the corner or she was going to have Klink send me to the cooler for the whole day. Which would you choose?"

"Good point," Hogan agreed. "Don't let me stop you." Newkirk headed for the corner, amid a few snickers from some of the men resting on their bunks. Then, Hogan glanced at Wolfgang. "I thought you'd left for the day."

"Mama sent me to keep an eye on Newkirk," Wolfgang explained. "She wants to make sure he spends the full twenty minutes in the corner. I wasn't about to argue."

"Can't say that I blame you," Hogan observed. "Your mother, is she…umm…always so overbearing?"

Wolfgang grinned momentarily at Hogan's uneasiness, then became quite solemn. "Sometimes she's even worse," he admitted.

"Oh, great," mumbled Hogan, as he turned and headed back to his quarters.

Wolfgang walked over to the stove, poured himself some coffee, then sat down at the table in a spot where he could observe Newkirk. He knew Mama would ask him about it later.

- - -

General Burkhalter had just taken a seat in Klink's office. "Before we get down to other business, there's a little matter we need to discuss."

"Yes, General Burkhalter," responded Klink, quite pleasantly, secretly hoping it had something to do with his coveted promotion.

"Why is your brother bunking with the prisoners, Klink? You know the rules against fraternization."

"Yes, General Burkhalter, I do. And normally I wouldn't dream of having him there," Klink quickly stated. "But this is a special case. He needed a place to stay. I had to move them out of the VIP quarters. There isn't room for both Wolfgang and Mama in mine. I didn't think you'd want to be stuck with him."

"You're right, I don't," declared Burkhalter. "Put him in with the guards."

"Put him in with the guards. Right," agreed Klink, sounding toadyish. "I'll have Schultz move him right away."

Klink picked up the phone to contact Hilda. Burkhalter stopped him. "No, wait," Burkhalter insisted. "I've changed my mind. Leave him with the prisoners."

"Leave him with the prisoners," Klink repeated, confused. "But why?"

Burkhalter grinned, conspiratorially. "For years, we've been wondering what Hogan was up to. We've tried planting our spies. Maybe your brother can succeed where they failed--won't be so obvious. Hogan and his gang might let their guard down and let something slip. Something Wolfgang can bring to us. Something we can use. At the least, his presence in their barracks might help keep them in line."

Klink nodded. "Jawohl, General Burkhalter. It would be nice to keep Hogan in line."

"Now that that's settled, let's get down to business," Burkhalter announced. "Let's go over your spending records for last month."

Klink produced the file and the two men began going over the report.

- - -

Once the table had been cleared and the dishes finished, LeBeau and Carter returned to the table to join their teammates. "All right, LeBeau. Wolfgang should be arriving any time now," Hogan said. "I want you to talk him into playing gin in my quarters. If he doesn't know how to play, convince him to let you teach him. Keep him occupied there until the rest of us get back from the meeting with the Underground."

LeBeau nodded. "Oui, mon Colonel. You can count on me."

"We'll try to get back as soon as we can," Hogan promised, just as the door was opening. Instead of Wolfgang, it was Schultz that walked in.

"Am I interrupting something?" Schultz asked.

"Just the Escape Committee's meeting," Hogan told him. "We were planning a mass escape. Now that you know, you can decide how you're going to explain our disappearances to Klink."

"I know nothing! NOTHING!" declared Schultz, turning on his heels and heading quickly towards the door.

"Schultz, wait a minute!" called Hogan. "We were just joking. Is there something you needed?"

Schultz relaxed, considerably. "I just came to inform you that the Kommandant's brother, Wolfgang, will be returning quite late this evening. He has borrowed the Kommandant's car to go into town."

"Any idea how late?" Hogan wondered.

"I do not know," Schultz replied. "They do not tell me everything. But I got the impression that he planned to be gone for several hours."

"Thanks for letting us know, Schultz," Hogan told him, reaching in his pocket and pulling out a candy bar. He handed it to Schultz. "Here's something for your trouble."

Accepting the offered chocolate, Schultz said, "It was no trouble. Danke, Colonel Hogan." As he opened the package and took a bite, Schultz headed for the door.

Once Schultz was gone, Hogan said, "Looks like you might not have to entertain Wolfgang after all, LeBeau. But stay behind, just in case he should return before we get back. Make up the bunks to look like we're in bed asleep. Hopefully, he won't notice we're gone."

"Oui, mon Colonel," LeBeau agreed.

"The rest of you, come on," Hogan ordered the others. "If we're lucky, we can make it to town and back before Wolfgang returns. And let's hope he doesn't spot us in town."

"Right," declared Newkirk. "If he does, I don't know who we'll have to worry about the most. General Burkhalter and Klink--or Mama."

"Let's hope we never have to find out," responded Hogan, as he stood and headed for the tunnel. Carter, Newkirk and Baker followed.

- - -

Hogan and his men were meeting with the Underground in the cellar beneath one of the shops in town. The Underground leader, Oskar Danzig entered the room. "Nice to see you again, Colonel," he told Hogan.

"Likewise," Hogan responded. "I trust you have fully recovered from your injury(1)."

"Ja. Except for the scar, you would not know I had been shot. But now, let's get down to business. We've been briefing our expert while we waited for your arrival."

"So, he has arrived and is aware of the situation?" Hogan concluded.

"Ja. Let's bring him in and go over our plans for tomorrow night." Danzig turned toward an archway leading to another room. "You can come in, now!" he called. As the man stepped through the doorway, Danzig announced, "Our Underground leader for the northeast area, Wolfgang Klink."

Hogan could not hide his look of surprise. "We've met."

Wolfgang appeared just as surprised. "And you are the renowned Papa Bear?" he guessed. "I have heard tales of your exploits…even in Leipzig." Wolfgang grinned broadly. "And to think that you have done it all right under my brother's nose…Him and his 'there has never been a successful escape from Stalag 13. ' "

"We find it amusing," admitted Hogan. "So, you are really an Underground leader and an explosives expert?"

Grinning even more, Wolfgang answered, "Ja. The explosion at the factory where I worked was not an accident(2). It was planned. As was my visit here. I convinced Mama that now would be a good time to visit Wilhelm."

"Mama know you're with the Underground?" asked Newkirk.

Wolfgang's expression changed to one of apprehension. "No…and let's keep it that way."

"Understood," confirmed Newkirk, and the rest of the prisoners nodded in agreement.

"Of course, we'll have to stay on a few more days after tomorrow night's job," explained Wolfgang. "We wouldn't want anyone getting suspicious."

"Wise decision," Hogan observed, as he opened a blueprint and spread it out on the table in the center of the room. Those present gathered around the table and started to discuss their plans for the following night's raid.

* * *

1 That's No Lady, That's My Spy

2 The Gypsy


	6. Chapter 6: A Change in Plans

Mama and Wolfgang were at the sink finishing the last of the breakfast dishes the following morning, when there was a knock at the door.

Wolfgang walked into the other room to answer it. Upon opening the door, he discovered it was Schultz.

"Herr Klink, General Burkhalter and the Kommandant would like to see you in the Kommandant's office…at once," Schultz declared.

Wolfgang appeared puzzled. "Wonder what they want."

"I do not know. They did not tell me."

"Go ahead," Mama suggested. "I'll finish the dishes."

"All right," agreed Wolfgang, as he stepped outside and followed Schultz to the Kommandant's office.

- - -

General Burkhalter and Klink stopped their conversation and glanced at Wolfgang when he entered the room.

"You wanted to see me," Wolfgang stated.

General Burkhalter nodded. "Ja. Klink tells me that you are bunking with the prisoners…sharing Hogan's quarters."

Wolfgang tried to hid his uneasiness. "That's right. I hope there's nothing wrong."

"Not at all," General Burkhalter assured him, quite pleasantly. "Not at all. In fact, it could prove very enlightening."

"I don't understand."

"It will give you a chance to communicate with the prisoners. Maybe pick up some interesting bits of information. Have you discovered anything so far?"

"That LeBeau is a pretty good cook. Maybe even better than Mama," replied Wolfgang.

Klink cringed. "Don't let Mama hear you say that," he warned.

"We already knew that," Burkhalter observed. "Were you able to learn anything else?"

Wolfgang considered it a moment. "Well…Carter is pretty good at chess. It was a lot harder beating him than it is Wilhelm."

"That's not important."

"The men respect Colonel Hogan."

"Naturally. He's an officer." Burkhalter seemed a little let down. "You mean, you haven't been able to learn anything useful?"

"You have to be careful of the Englander, Newkirk," Wolfgang stated.

"Why?"

"Because he has a way of obtaining things that don't belong to him. Other people's watches--or wallets-- for instance."

"That's nothing new," Klink responded. "We've dealt with it before, on numerous occasions…and probably will again."

"Oh, Kinch did share some valuable information."

"What?" asked Klink and Burkhalter, almost simultaneously.

"Mama and I have been having problems with a leaky toilet. Kinch told me how to fix it. Seems he helped a plumber one summer. And with the war, good plumbers are hard to find."

Burkhalter gave him a sour look. "That information won't help our war effort."

"It's all I can tell you now," insisted Wolfgang.

"Well, keep your eyes and ears open. If you learn anything you think might be important, let us know."

"All right. I'll be as helpful as I can," Wolfgang promised. Of course, Klink and Burkhalter didn't realize that meant omitting any vital pieces of information. "Now, was there anything else?"

"No. You may go," Burkhalter replied.

Wolfgang left, and Klink and Burkhalter returned to their previous business.

- - -

Right after lunch, Mama went to Klink's office. General Burkhalter had gone to Hammelburg on Luftwaffe business so Klink was currently alone.

"I'd like to see Colonel Hogan," Mama told Klink.

"About what?" Klink inquired.

"I'll speak with both of you when he gets here," Mama insisted. "Send for him…NOW."

Klink decided it was best not to argue with Mama and sent for Hogan.

After just a few minutes, the door opened and Hogan entered. "You wanted to see me, Kommandant," he declared upon entering.

"Mama said she wanted to speak with both of us," Klink explained.

Hogan glanced in Mama's direction. "Look, if this is about Newkirk…"

Klink was puzzled. "What about Newkirk?"

"This isn't about Newkirk," Mama stated. "I wanted to speak with you boys about something else."

"Well, what about Newkirk?" Klink persisted.

Mama glared at Klink. "Forget Newkirk. I want you boys to plan a surprise party."

Both men looked like they were the ones who were surprised. "A surprise party," they both echoed.

Mama nodded. "Ja. For Wolfgang. This birthday is his forty-ninth…the last one before his fiftieth."

Klink glanced at the calendar on his desk. "Ja. It is his birthday."

"When?" Hogan wondered.

"Today," Mama answered.

Hogan responded with a small chuckle. "And you expect us to throw him a party later this afternoon? It doesn't give us much time."

"Not this afternoon. Tonight. When Wolfgang returns to your barracks. You can spend this afternoon getting things ready."

"Tonight? That's impossible," Hogan protested, thinking about their planned mission.

"And what's wrong with tonight?" Mama snapped back.

Klink gave Hogan a dubious look. "Yes, Hogan. What's wrong with tonight?"

Hogan remained characteristically calm. "Well, lights out, for one thing. It would have to be a short party. Wolfgang arrives a while before we have to turn in but not early enough for a big affair."

Mama glanced expectantly at Klink. "Lights out could be postponed for your barracks."

Klink didn't seem too sure. "Postpone lights out?"

"You are the Kommandant, aren't you?" Mama argued.

Klink nodded. "Yes. I am."

"Then, postpone lights out. It is your brother's birthday. Now, I'm going to go fix a special dinner for Wolfie so he doesn't suspect anything afterwards. You two can take care of the rest."

Klink watched with disappointment as Mama headed for the door. "She never threw me a party," he grumbled.

Mama paused and glanced back. "That's cause you were never around on your birthday. You were always stationed away from home."

"And what about Newkirk?" asked Klink, trying to discover the answer to his earlier question.

"He was a naughty boy," replied Mama as she continued on her way.

Klink glanced at Hogan. "You know what happened?"

"Newkirk yelled at Carter. Mama sent him to the corner," Hogan answered, a frustrated edge to his voice.

His expression changing to one of disapproval, Klink said, "They're your men. How come you weren't disciplining them?"

Hogan gestured towards the doorway in annoyance. "Try telling that to Mama. She beat me to it. Besides, Newkirk was just letting off a little steam."

Klink nodded, now sympathetically. "Good point. Well, you and your men better get started on the party."

"And what about you?"

"I've got to stay here and hunt up some more papers. General Burkhalter is going to be back a little later and wants to see them. He's been going over the budget for the last few months and has been making some cuts."

Hogan's face registered his concern, guessing where most of the cuts would probably be. "Cuts! The prisoners are living like paupers, as it is."

"War's an expensive business," explained Klink.

"And you're throwing a surprise party?"

Klink waved the protest aside with a motion from his hand in the air. "I'll pay for it with my own money. Just don't go overboard. I'd like to have a little of my pay left."

"You know us, sir. We'll be practical…very practical," Hogan promised.

"That's what I'm afraid of. I'll leave instructions with Schultz. If you need anything, let him know. He'll take care of it. Dismissed."

Hogan left the room and Klink started ransacking his filing cabinets, looking for those papers he had to find.

- - -

Hogan returned to Barracks 2. His men were seated around the table. Right away, they could tell something was troubling him.

"What's up, Gov'nor?" Newkirk asked.

"Tonight's mission has to be postponed," Hogan bitterly replied.

"London's not going to like it," Kinch pointed out. "We've been planning it for two weeks. The Underground even called in an expert."

Hogan gave him a dark look. "You think I like it?" Almost immediately, Hogan's expression softened and he apologized. "Sorry, Kinch. This thing is just so irritating."

"But why do we have to postpone it?" LeBeau asked.

Hogan glanced his way. "Because Wolfgang isn't going to be able to make it. He's going to be busy elsewhere."

"Everything seemed okay last night. What happened?" Carter wondered.

Hogan poured himself a cup of coffee. "He's going to be attending his surprise party."

Carter's brow furrowed. "Surprise party? You mean, it's his birthday?"

"Yeah. And Mama insists he has a party."

"So, the old dame is throwing him a surprise party, eh?" observed Newkirk.

Hogan had walked over to the table and now sat down with his men. "No…we are."

"We are? Where?"

Hogan glanced around the room. "Here. We'll have to decorate the place. And LeBeau, you'll have to make the cake."

Kinch seemed puzzled. "Couldn't you have talked her out of it, sir? This mission's very important."

"I tried…but we're talking about Mama. I couldn't protest too much or they would have gotten suspicious. She even got Klink to postpone lights out. Who knows how long the party will last?"

Kinch stood up. "I'll go radio London and the Underground. Tell them we have to postpone."

"Tell them to plan on tomorrow night," ordered Hogan. "We'll try again, then."

"Yes, sir," acknowledged Kinch, as he walked over to the proper bunk, slapped its side and headed below once the entrance had opened.

"Newkirk, keep an eye outside. If Wolfgang leaves the Kommandant's quarters, have him sneak over. I'll have to tell him we're postponing."

"Right, Colonel," agreed Newkirk.

Hogan's glance took in not only Carter and LeBeau but also the rest of the prisoners in the room. "And the rest of us better get started on this party."

"Yes, sir," came agreement from various locations around the room. As Hogan's team got up from the table, prisoners who had been settled on their bunks got down and came over to join them. Newkirk went outside to carry out his orders and Hogan started issuing assignments to the rest of the men present.

- - -

Over two hours passed before Newkirk opened the door to Hogan's quarters and stepped into the common room. The room had begun to take on a festive look, with all the decorations hanging from the ceiling.

Newkirk walked over to stand beside Hogan. "Wolfgang is waiting in your quarters, Gov'nor. We slipped in through the window."

"All right, I'll go talk with him," stated Hogan, handing Newkirk the decoration he was holding. Hogan walked to his quarters and entered. Wolfgang was seated at the small table.

"Newkirk said you needed to see me," Wolfgang said.

Hogan walked over to the table and stood near Wolfgang. "Yes. It's about tonight."

"I hope nothing's wrong."

"We're going to have postpone till tomorrow night."

"What's wrong with tonight?" Wolfgang protested.

"Something unexpected came up," Hogan explained. "We're not going to be able to make it and neither are you."

Wolfgang sat there contemplating this new development. Suddenly, a possible reason popped into his head. "Don't tell me Mama's planning a surprise party for my birthday!"

"All right, I won't tell you," Hogan agreed, glancing guiltily towards the doorway.

"She IS throwing a surprise party," Wolfgang concluded.

Hogan shook his head. "Not exactly. She ordered us to take care of the details."

"That's Mama," Wolfgang observed. "Well…I'll try to act surprised."

"You think you can pull it off?" Hogan wondered.

"Probably. I've been doing it for years. With Mama, one has to."

"Right. Well, that's all I had for now," declared Hogan, dismissing Wolfgang.

"I'll see you tonight then," stated Wolfgang as he stood up.

Wolfgang walked over to the window and started to open it. "And Wolfgang," he heard Hogan say from behind him.

Looking back, Wolfgang responded, "Ja?"

"Happy birthday."


	7. Chapter 7: The Surprise Party

Barracks 2 was crowded with people as they waited for Wolfgang to arrive at what was supposed to be his surprise birthday party.

Schultz was standing near the table which held a huge birthday cake. He had been hungrily eying the cake for the last several minutes. Finally, the temptation proved too much and he reached out to swipe his finger across the frosting. His attempt was thwarted, however, as LeBeau slapped his hand away.

"Not yet," LeBeau stated.

"But I was only going to have a small taste," Schultz declared, clearly disappointed.

"Not till Wolfgang arrives," insisted LeBeau. "You're just going to have to wait like everyone else. Verstehen?"

"Verstehen," conceded Schultz, not any happier than before.

"Don't worry, Schultzy, I'll see you get a big piece," LeBeau promised.

Schultz brightened a bit at that news. "Thank you, LeBeau. You are such a nice little friend."

The crowd waited a few more minutes. Finally, the door opened and Wolfgang entered.

"SURPRISE!" yelled everyone, almost in unison.

Wolfgang feigned his surprise. "What's going on?" he asked.

"It's a surprise birthday party," replied Klink, stepping closer to his brother. "You didn't forget your own birthday, did you?"

"No, it's just--" began Wolfgang.

Hoping to take some of the pressure off Wolfgang, Hogan had followed Klink and now asked, "Feeling any older?"

"Just a day older," answered Wolfgang, acknowledging the gratitude he felt with a small nod and grin in Hogan's direction.

Newkirk stepped over now and handed Wolfgang a special party hat. "A hat for the birthday boy," he said.

Wolfgang accepted the hat and put it on his head. "Danke."

"All right, first we have a couple games planned," explained Newkirk. "First up, it was suggested we play Pin the Tail on the Donkey. As guest of honor, you get to go first." Newkirk glanced at Carter. "Carter." In response to his name, Carter came over, handed Wolfgang the paper tail, and proceeded to blindfold him. Meanwhile, Newkirk added, "For any guests who aren't familiar with the game, the blindfolded player tries to pin a tail like this one on that drawing of a donkey hanging on the wall over there. And the audience can give him clues to how close he is by calling out warm or cold he is."

Carter and Newkirk together spun Wolfgang around a bit, then stopped. "Good luck, mate," finished Newkirk, as Wolfgang started to walk towards where he believed the donkey should be. With the crowd shouting clues, Wolfgang continued until he finally stood before the drawing and jabbed the tail onto the donkey, very close to the proper spot.

"Jolly good," acknowledged Newkirk, as Wolfgang removed his blindfold.

More guests took their turn, pinning the tail they were handed to various spots on the donkey. When Carter had his turn, he pinned his right to the middle of the donkey's ear.

"Carter, I think you got the wrong end," Newkirk commented.

"Unless he thinks it can double as a cap," contributed LeBeau. Their comments led to chuckles from several of the guests.

"Let's see you do better," Carter responded.

"All right," agreed LeBeau, taking his turn. LeBeau succeeded in pinning the donkey's hind foot.

"At least you got the right end," Newkirk observed.

"Your turn," stated LeBeau, handing Newkirk a tail and proceeding to blindfold him.

In practically no time, Newkirk made his way towards the drawing and pinned the tail in a spot rivaling Wolfgang's proximity.

"You sure you couldn't see anything?" LeBeau wondered.

"I've played the game before…lots of times," Newkirk replied.

Klink went over for a closer look to compare Newkirk and Wolfgang's aims. "Me, me," begged Schultz, hoping to have the next turn.

"Okay, Schultzy," agreed LeBeau, as he prepared Schultz for his turn.

Newkirk took a couple steps closer to Hogan, who was standing nearby, and quietly asked, "Isn't Klink standing dangerously close to that picture?"

Hogan took a moment to glance at Klink, who was still engrossed in studying the tails pinned to the donkey. "I'm not going to tell him to move…are you?"

"Not me, Gov'nor," Newkirk decided.

Hearing the crowd shouting clues at Schultz caught Klink's attention. He took a step to the side of the drawing to watch as Schultz approached the donkey.

Schultz's aim was very close to the donkey's hindquarters as the crowd shouted how hot he was. As he pushed the pin forward, he turned slightly, jabbing the pin right into Klink's shoulder.

"SCHUUULTZ! You Dummkopf!" screamed Klink. "Do I look like a donkey?"

A flustered Schultz drew the tail back from Klink's shoulder, as he removed the blindfold from his own eyes. "I'm sorry, Herr Kommandant. I was blindfolded. I saw nothing."

"You see that without a blindfold," observed Klink.

"Unless we want to declare Schultz the winner, I'd say it was a draw between Wolfgang and Newkirk," proclaimed Hogan. "And it's time to set up for our next game."

"Right…Musical Chairs," announced Newkirk, as some of the prisoners started to position the crudely made stools in the center of the room.

Carter glanced around the room several times. "Hey, Schultz, you forgot to bring the record player from the recreation hall," he stated.

Schultz gazed at Klink. "He told me not to."

"I already have that covered," Klink declared, as he walked over to a spot near the door where he had set his violin case. Opening it, he pulled out his prized instrument.

Leaning closer to Hogan, Wolfgang quietly said, "Could add a whole new dimension to the game. From not being the last one standing to not being the last one out the door."

Newkirk, who was close enough to overhear, agreed. "He's got a point, Gov'nor."

"Nobody leaves," insisted Hogan. "And that's an order. Pass the word along."

"Could have a mutiny on your hands, sir," Newkirk warned him.

"And there will be a court-martial in the future of anyone who does," threatened Hogan.

"Right. I'll pass the word along," conceded Newkirk.

Both Newkirk and Wolfgang left to join the group at the stools. After nearly fifteen minutes of the guests suffering through Klink's noise, only one stool remained in the center of the room. Mama and Burkhalter were the only two remaining participants, as no one wanted to race them for a seat. Klink started to play once more and after the final note, Mama sat on the remaining stool and was declared the winner.

"Congratulations," acknowledged Burkhalter, as he stepped closer and offered Mama a hand up.

"Danke," Mama responded, accepting his help. "You know, General, Wilhelm has told us so much about you."

Burkhalter glared in Klink's direction. "Not that much," protested Klink.

"Klink! You better not have revealed any military secrets!" exclaimed Burkhalter, releasing Mama's arm and heading towards Klink.

"Who…me…" stammered Klink, his violin and bow still in hand. Klink started to back towards one of the bunks, Burkhalter following. "What's there to tell?" He spread his arms apart and started to raise them for emphasis. In doing so, he got the hand with his bow tangled up beneath the bedding near the foot of the upper bunk.

Burkhalter stepped closer. "You better not have…or next time you play that thing, you'll be needing gloves to keep your hands warm."

Klink tried to untangle his hand but only seemed to entangle it further. "General Burkhalter, you know me. I'm a loyal member of the Third Reich…and there's never been a successful escape from Stalag 13...not one."

"Klink, what's your escape record got to do with military secrets?" Burkhalter wondered.

"Nothing," answered Klink, still struggling to free his hand. "But why would I want to spoil my perfect record by--"

Wolfgang stepped up behind Klink and stopped near the center of the bunk. "Wilhelm would never reveal important information," he offered for support.

Burkhalter eyed Klink for a moment, then responded, "You're probably right. Who'd tell that bumbling idiot anything?"

Desperate to be free, Klink jerked his hand sharply and one could hear the bow crack. "Now look what you made me do," he stated. A gruff stare from Burkhalter led to a quick apology. "Sorry, General Burkhalter."

From where he was standing, Newkirk noticed what was holding the bedding down. To allow more floor space for the party, someone had placed their crate of firewood on the bunk. Klink's tugging had brought it precariously close to the front, inches from Wolfgang's head.

"Look out, mate!" warned Newkirk, rushing forward and tackling Wolfgang backwards onto the floor.

"What do you think you're doing?" asked a puzzled Wolfgang, seconds before a final tug from Klink brought the crate to the floor right where he had been standing. As the crate tipped over and its contents rolled out, Wolfgang quickly added, "Danke…mate."

"Your welcome," acknowledged Newkirk, with a smile as he reached down to give Wolfgang a hand up.

"Wolfgang, are you okay?" his worried mother asked, as she rushed over to join them.

"Ja, Mama. I fine," Wolfgang assured her.

Mama glared at Burkhalter. "My boys are good boys."

"Of course they are," Burkhalter muttered, not wanting to upset Mama.

Hoping to prevent the situation from escalating further, Hogan said, "I think it's time Wolfgang opened his presents."

Wolfgang nodded. "Ja, Mama. You know how curious I am about gifts."

Mama smiled affectionately at her son. "Ja, Wolfie. I do. Let's get to it then."

People gathered around a small table on which Wolfgang's gifts had been placed. They watched as Wolfgang picked up one, read the attached tag, and then gave the package a little shake. Finally, he ripped the paper off to discover what was inside.

While watching her son, Mama's eyes were diverted several times to where Newkirk was standing. She would gaze intently for a few moments, then turn her attention back to the birthday boy. Newkirk almost squirmed with uneasiness about what her scrutiny might mean.

When Wolfgang had finished with his presents, LeBeau walked over to the cake. "Now, for the moment you've all been waiting for--especially Schultz--it's time to light the candles." LeBeau lit the candles and Baker turned out the lights.

Everyone sang 'Happy Birthday,' then Wolfgang blew out the several candles that had been placed on the cake to form the number forty-nine.

Baker turned the lights back on, and asked, "Did you make a wish?"

"Ja, I did," Wolfgang confirmed, as Lebeau cut the cake and handed him the first piece.

LeBeau continued to serve cake to the rest of the guests, while Carter served the punch.

"Make it extra big," insisted Mama, returning the cake LeBeau had given her.

"Of course, Mama," LeBeau conceded, as he cut and handed her a much larger piece.

Then, she got a full cup of punch from Carter. With her hands full, Mama walked over to where Newkirk was standing. "You're not such a bad boy after all," she declared, offering him the refreshments.

"Thank you, Frau Klink," acknowledged Newkirk, accepting her peace offering. "You're not so bad yourself."

He was rewarded with a smile from Mama. "You can call me 'Mama,' you know. Now, eat your cake like a good boy."

Newkirk grinned in return. "Whatever you say, Mama." As Newkirk picked up the fork and proceeded to obey, Mama gave him a final smile and nod approval, before returning for her own refreshments.


	8. Chapter 8: A Cause for Alarm

The new weapons factory was a huge installation. To effectively blow it up required several strategically placed charges. That is why it had been necessary to call in an expert and have so much manpower for the mission. After splitting up into groups of two or three, Hogan's men and the members of the Underground stealthily entered the building.

While the others went to various locations around the factory, Hogan, Carter and Wolfgang went to set the charges in the main power center. Hogan kept watch while Carter and Wolfgang lay the charges. Suddenly he whispered, "Guard coming." The three of them quickly ducked behind the equipment. Believing their security adequate, the guard shone the flashlight quickly around the room and noticed nothing unusual. Soon, he was on his way again and the saboteurs returned to work.

Wolfgang made one final connection. "That should do it," he declared.

"All right, let's get out of here," Hogan ordered.

They had just about reached the top of the rise overlooking the factory when Baker's voice quietly came over the radio Hogan was carrying. "Night Owl One, This is Night Owl Two."

"Go ahead, we're clear of the factory," Hogan responded, a little more audibly.

"Company's coming," Baker warned them, just slightly louder than before.

"Move," Hogan ordered Carter and Wolfgang. The three of them hurried more quickly to the top of the rise where the others were waiting. "Everybody down."

All present crouched as close to the ground as possible and peered below. A few moments later, headlights could be seen as a car came around the bend and approached the factory entrance. Hogan took out a pair of binoculars for a better view. He watched as a man in uniform got out of the vehicle. In spite of the distance and dim lighting, however, there was no mistaking who it was. "Burkhalter!" he exclaimed. "Why'd he have to pick tonight for an inspection?"

Burkhalter did not immediately head for the entrance. Instead, he walked around the car and opened the door on the other side. This time, a woman got out. Hogan could hardly believe his eyes when he noticed who it was. "Mama?"

Wolfgang grabbed for the binoculars and Hogan let him have them. Looking through the binoculars, Wolfgang confirmed the woman's identity. "Ja. It's Mama. We can't blow up Mama!"

"He's right, Gov'nor. It wouldn't be cricket," Newkirk stated.

At almost the same instant, Carter and LeBeau voiced their own protests. "She's too nice a lady," Carter said.

"And a very good cook," LeBeau pointed out.

"We're not going to blow up Mama," Hogan assured them. "There's plenty of time before the charges go off. We'll just have to get them to leave."

Newkirk wasn't conviced. "How? We can't just waltz down there and interfere. Burkhalter would recognize us."

"I've got an idea but we must hurry. Timing is critical," Hogan replied. Hogan quickly explained his idea and then the group of saboteurs rushed for the vehicles they had hidden a short distance away. The Underground members who had arrived with Oscar Danzig crowded into the other Underground vehicle, while Hogan and his men got into the car with Danzig. Though Wolfgang had driven Klink's staff car out of camp and later picked them up along the road, Hogan's plan made it necessary for him to return alone. With their headlights out, all three vehicles pulled out onto the road. Danzig's car and the other Underground vehicle in the direction of Hammelburg and Stalag 13, while Wolfgang drove towards the factory.

* * *

As he pulled to stop behind Burkhalter's car, Wolfgang could see that general was still speaking with a guard just outside the front entrance. Mama stood at his side patiently waiting. The car's arrival seemed to draw the attention to its location. The guard aimed his rifle in that direction. "Who's there?" he demanded.

Wolfgang slowly opened the door. "Don't shoot," he pleaded, as he started to exit the vehicle, raising his arms into the air as he did so. "It's me, Wolfgang."

"You can't shoot Wolfgang," Mama protested.

Burkhalter cast disapproving looks at first Wolfgang and then the guard. "Put your gun away," he ordered the guard. Then, he glanced back at Wolfgang. "What are you doing here?"

"I might ask you the same thing," Wolfgang countered.

"This factory produces weapons for the military. It is my business to be here," snapped Burkhalter.

Wolfgang seemed undaunted by Burkhalter's explanation. "And Mama is my concern."

"I can look after myself," Mama argued.

For one of the few times in his life, Wolfgang seemed to ignore Mama. Glaring intensely as his eyes met Burkhalter's, he declared, "Mama is a widow and you are a married man."

Mama was aghast. "Nothing happened. Albert's been a perfect gentleman."

Wolfgang nodded, disapprovingly. "Albert?"

"She's right. Nothing happened," Burkhalter tried to assure him.

"And I'm here to see that it doesn't," Wolfgang insisted.

Burkhalter was far from pleased. "You mean, chaperon us?"

"Exactly. I was on my way back to camp when I saw you two getting into your car." Wolfgang deliberately gave no indication to where he supposedly witnessed this per Hogan's instructions. They had no way of knowing whether the two had gone to town or not between their leaving camp and driving to the factory.

Burkhalter's eyes reflected his annoyance. "And you thought it necessary to follow us?"

"Ja, but I hoped you wouldn't have to find out," Wolfgang lied. "That's why I drove with my lights out. But coming to an isolated factory--what would people think? I could stay back no longer."

"Albert wanted to check on security," Mama explained. "Then, he was going to give me quick tour of the place."

"Looks like I arrived just in time," Wolfgang declared. "With me as chaperon, we can counter any local gossip."

Mama shook her head. "Unnecessary. If Albert doesn't mind, I'd like to postpone the tour. I'm getting a bit tired."

"All right. The guard assures me that all is in order," Burkhalter consented. "If you'd like, I can bring both of you back for a detailed tour tomorrow…" Burkhalter paused a moment to glare at Wolfgang. "Provided Wolfgang approves."

"Of course, it sounds like it might be quite interesting," Wolfgang agreed, knowing that place would be nothing but rubble long before then.

"Good." Burkhalter led Mama back towards the car and Wolfgang headed towards Klink's. "Then, you can follow us back to camp," Burkhalter continued. "But drive with your lights on this time. There could be patrols in this area. You're lucky you didn't run into any before."

"I'm sure once I explained, they would have understood," Wolfgang stated.

"That's not what I meant," was Burkhalter's solemn response. "I was speaking literally. The Allies have taken out enough of our men. You don't need to eliminate any more."

"Oh," muttered Wolfgang as he realized Burkhalter was speaking about the possibility of hitting the men with the car. "Don't worry, now that you know I'm behind you, there's no to hide my presence. I'll drive with them on."

* * *

Back in camp, Hogan and his men climbed into the barracks and he tapped the bunk to close the tunnel entrance. "Now, to establish our alibi," Hogan declared, heading towards the door leading to the outside. "You fellows turn in while I go have a chat with our Kommandant."

"Right, sir," agreed Newkirk, as he and the rest of them headed towards their respective bunks.

Hogan stepped outside and noticed Corporal Langenscheidt standing a short distance away. "Langenscheidt," he whispered, only loud enough to be heard by the corporal.

Langenscheidt hurried over to where Hogan was standing. "Colonel Hogan, you know that you are not supposed to be outside at this hour," Langenscheidt declared.

"I know that, but something's come up. I must see the Kommandant," Hogan explained.

"Kommandant Klink will be asleep and will not wish to be disturbed," Langenscheidt insisted.

Hogan stood his ground. "But Wolfgang isn't back yet."

"It is late," Langenscheidt agreed, "but Wolfgang is old enough to look after himself."

"Fine," said Hogan, appearing to relent. "I'll just go back to bed myself…but if it turns out something's happened to Wolfgang, you can explain to Klink why he wasn't alerted."

Langenscheidt began to grow uneasy at Hogan's last statement. "Well, Colonel Hogan…Maybe I was a bit hasty. Maybe we should inform the Kommandant. Since it concerns his brother, he may not mind. If you'll come with me…"

Stepping in front of Langenscheidt to be escorted to the Kommandant's quarters, Hogan allowed a grin to flicker across his face. So far, things were going according to plan.

Langenscheidt had to knock several times before a sleepy Klink opened the door. "I left orders that I was not to be disturbed," he growled.

"My fault," admitted Hogan. "Wolfgang hasn't returned and it's getting late."

"I'm sure Wolfgang can take care of himself," responded Klink, reiterating Langenscheidt's earlier observation. Then, Klink glanced back to look at the clock on his wall. "You're right. It is getting rather late. I'll check with Mama and see if he told her he might be delayed."

Klink headed for his bedroom that he had relinquished to Mama and knocked on the door. "Mama," he called. No response. "Mama."

Hogan had followed Klink to the doorway, knowing there was no one there. "Maybe she's a sound sleeper--like you," he quipped.

"I am not a sound sleeper," protested Klink, as he knocked once more. "I was a little late getting home myself--had some paperwork to finish up in my office. Mama had already turned in." Then, Klink began to get a little worried. "Oh, dear. I hope she isn't ill." Klink opened the door a crack. "Are you all right, Mama?"

With great difficulty, Hogan was able to contain his amusement as Klink opened the door further. "Mama?" Klink called once more. Peering into the room, Klink was shocked to find the bed empty. "Hogan, she's not there! The bed hasn't been slept in! Where could she be?"

Hogan shrugged. "How should I know?"

Deeply concerned, Klink turned and headed outside, oblivious to the fact that he was still barefoot and wearing his robe. "Guards!" he shouted. "Sound the alarm!"

Someone sounded the alarm and moments later, guards began to pour from their barracks. "Which prisoner is missing now?" asked Schultz, as he rushed up to where Klink and Hogan were standing.

"Not a prisoner. Mama," replied Klink.

Schultz appeared puzzled. "Mama? Why would she try to escape?"

"She didn't," snarled Klink. "She's missing, you Dummkopf. We have to find her."

While the guards were preparing to begin the search, the headlights of two cars could be seen entering at the gate. They pulled up to a stop near Klink's quarters. A door on the lead car opened and Burkhalter stepped out. "What is going on, Klink?" he demanded. "Have you had an escape?"

"No, but I'm not worried about my record just now," Klink answered. "Mama is missing."

"Missing? She's right here," scoffed Burkhalter, opening the door to allow Mama out.

"She was with you?" inquired Klink, a touch of disapproval in his voice.

Burkhalter frowned at first Klink, and then in Wolfgang's direction as he grumbled, "We had a chaperon."

It was then Klink noticed Wolfgang standing near the other car. "You followed them?" he guessed.

"Someone had to look after Mama," Wolfgang told him.

Mama sighed. "Will everyone pay attention? I do not need looking after," she stated, emphatically. Still annoyed, she started to walk up the steps to Klink's quarters. At that moment, the sounds of distant explosions penetrated the noisy alarm and Mama glanced back. "Don't the Allies ever sleep?"

"Do you?" asked Hogan, letting his gaze wander to all the Germans who had gathered in the vicinity.

Mama's eyes followed his gaze. "I see what you mean," she agreed. Then, turning, she continued on her way to her temporary bedroom.

"Hogan, what are you doing here?" barked Burkhalter.

Before Hogan had a chance to answer, Klink replied, "He thought I should know that Wolfgang hadn't returned. It was then we discovered Mama was missing."

"But since everything seems fine, I'm going back to bed," declared Hogan. "Provided I can get to sleep, that is."

As Hogan turned to leave, Burkhalter shouted, "Will someone turn off that infernal alarm!"

When silence was restored, the rest of the crowd began to disperse, either to return to their posts or their own quarters.

* * *

Burkhalter had just been sleeping a short time when he was awakened by the phone ringing near his bed. Still a bit groggy, he answered it. "Ja, this is General Burkhalter." He listened to the voice at the other end and all signs of grogginess quickly vanished. "But we were just there a short time ago. I spoke with the guard. Everything seemed to be in order." Another short pause and his expression became even more grim. "The place in ruins and no known survivors. You've contacted the Gestapo in Hammelburg…All right, I'll await their report tomorrow. Heil Hitler." Burkhalter hung up the phone and returned to bed for what he was certain would be a restless night.


	9. Chapter 9: One Wolfgang Too Many

"Shortly after breakfast, Wolfgang went to the VIP quarters to speak with Burkhalter. Failing to find him there, Wolfgang headed for Klink's office. He stopped at Hilda's desk. "Is General Burkhalter here?" he asked.

"Ja, he is meeting with Kommandant Klink," Hilda replied.

"Could you let them know that I'm here and would like to speak with the general, bitte?"

"Of course." Hilda picked up the receiver and buzzed Klink's office. After a moment's conversation over the phone, she hung up and turned her attention back to Wolfgang. "They said you may go in," she declared.

"Danke," Wolfgang acknowledged, starting for the door.

Both Klink and Burkhalter glanced towards the doorway as Wolfgang entered. "You wanted to see me," Burkhalter prompted.

"Ja," Wolfgang confirmed. "Mama and I have finished breakfast. We were wondering what time you wanted to leave for the factory."

"I'm not," stated Burkhalter, sourly.

Wolfgang feigned ignorance. "Something's come up, eh? Or if you don't want me along-"

Burkhalter's expression darkened as he interrupted Wolfgang. "That's not it. That explosion we heard when we got back to camp, it was the factory. There's little left to see."

"You mean, we could have been killed!" exclaimed Wolfgang, pretending to be more shocked than he actually was. "I don't mind being put in danger, but Mama…"

"I would do nothing to endanger your mother," Burkhalter tried to reassure him. "We suspect sabotage. The saboteurs must have arrived shortly after we left. The guard I spoke with last night assured me that nothing was amiss."

"What does he say now?" Wolfgang queried, fishing for information.

"Nothing," Burkhalter answered. "He was killed in the explosion. We believe there were no survivors."

Wolfgang appeared puzzled. "We?"

"The Gestapo and myself. The Hammelburg Gestapo are handling the investigation."

Still playing the role of innocent civilian, Wolfgang nodded. "Good. Perhaps they will locate the guilty parties and make an example of them."

"That's what we're hoping. Major Hochstetter is conducting a thorough investigation."

"Then, if you two will excuse me, I think I'll go let Mama know that the tour has been cancelled."

"Of course," Burkhalter said.

"Ja," Klink agreed, giving a slight nod of dismissal.

Wolfgang left the room and Klink and Burkhalter resumed their conversation.

* * *

It was almost noon. Carter was setting their table and LeBeau was just completing the meal he was preparing. Hogan and Baker were discussing a message to be sent to London. Suddenly, the door to their barracks opened and Newkirk came rushing in. "Looks like we're about to have one Wolfgang too many, Gov'nor," he declared. "Hochstetter's staff car just arrived at the gate."

"Time to delay lunch and see what's cooking in Klink's office," stated Hogan, as he stood and headed for their listening device in his quarters. The rest of his men followed.

Once the coffee pot had been set up, they all listened to the conversation being held in Klink's office.

* * *

"Hochstetter, what did you discover?" Burkhalter asked.

"It looks like sabotage," Hochstetter answered. Then, he gave Klink a scathing look. "One more act of sabotage occurring just miles from this camp, Kommandant. So…I would like to interrogate a few of your prisoners."

Looking bewildered, Klink shrugged. "What could they tell you?"

An evil smirk appeared on Hochstetter's face. "You might be surprised. I'll speak with Hogan first."

"Surely you don't suspect him?" Burkhalter stated.

"That's what I intend to find out," said Hochstetter with determination.

"I'll save you the trouble," Burkhalter told him. "Hogan was in camp when the sabotage occurred."

Hochstetter still wasn't convinced. "You're sure about that."

"Of course I am," snapped Burkhalter. "I saw him myself when I returned to camp. He grew concerned that Wolfgang hadn't returned yet and went to alert Klink."

"Wolfgang?" Hochstetter wondered.

"My brother," Klink replied.

"And why should that concern Hogan?" Hochstetter wanted to know.

"He's sharing Hogan's quarters," Klink admitted.

Hochstetter glowered at Klink. "He what!" Hochstetter practically shouted. "Klink, have you gone insane!"

Before Klink had a chance to respond, Burkhalter explained, "I wasn't too pleased myself at first but it may prove useful."

"How?"

"Can you think of a better way to keep an eye on Hogan?" Burkhalter asked.

"Ja," Hochstetter immediately answered with a grin.

"That doesn't violate the Geneva Convention," Burkhalter amended.

"Has Wolfgang discovered anything?"

"Nothing we didn't already know," Burkhalter answered.

"You said Wolfgang was missing. Where was he?"

"Not involved in sabotage if that's what you're thinking. He saw me with Mama and thought we needed a chaperon. He followed us to the factory and then followed us back to camp. There's no way he could be involved."

Hochstetter was not pleased by this news. "You took your mother to the factory?"

"Not my mother. Klink's," Burkhalter stated.

Hochstetter's irritation grew. "What? Have we suddenly been invaded by Klink's entire family?" he growled.

Klink slowly shook his head. "Just Mama and Wolfgang," he meekly stated.

"I was going to town and invited her along," Burkhalter explained. "When we were finished, I decided to stop by the factory and check on things there. I spoke with the ranking guard and he assured me that nothing was amiss. The saboteurs must have arrived soon after we left."

"Send for your brother, Klink," Hochstetter ordered. "I have a few questions I'd like to ask him."

"You heard General Burkhalter," protested Klink. "Wolfgang couldn't have been involved."

"I never said he was. I want to question him about the prisoners in Barracks 2." Hochstetter glared intensely at Klink. "Now, are you going to contact Wolfgang or do I need to do it myself?"

"I'll do it," conceded Klink. He picked up his phone and spoke with Hilda for a few moments. When he was finished, he continued, "Hilda is sending Langenscheidt to deliver the message."

* * *

A few minutes later, Wolfgang entered Klink's office. "You wanted to see me," he told Klink.

"Not me, him," declared Klink, with a nod in Hochstetter's direction.

Hochstetter stepped closer to Wolfgang. "Ja. I was hoping you might be of assistance."

To have the Gestapo ask for help surprised Wolfgang. "Assist the Gestapo? How?"

"You have been sharing Hogan's quarters, right?" Hochstetter asked him.

"That's right," Wolfgang replied.

"When you went to the barracks last night, was anyone missing?"

Wolfgang pretended to consider the question a moment, then shook his head. "No. Everyone was there and in bed-probably asleep. Except for Colonel Hogan, that is. He returned to his quarters just ahead of me. Seems that he grew concerned by my late return and got up to notify Wilhelm."

"So I've been told," Hochstetter stated. "While you have been bunking with the prisoners, have you noticed anything…well…suspicious, shall we say?"

"Can't say that I have." Wolfgang tilted his head as if in contemplation. "Of course, I'm only there at night."

"Unfortunate that you haven't," Hochstetter said. "Continue to keep them under surveillance and if you discover anything, have Klink contact me at once."

"Of course," promised Wolfgang, though this was one promise he didn't plan to keep.

"That will be all. You're dismissed." After Wolfgang had gone, Hochstetter turned to Klink and declared, "I still think I will question one of your prisoners."

Once more, Burkhalter responded before Klink. "But Wolfgang confirmed they were in camp," Burkhalter reminded Hochstetter.

"That's right," agreed Klink.

A scowling Hochstetter explained, "I know, but somehow I think the Allied operative known as Papa Bear is behind this. You know how prisoners are always delving for information. Perhaps one of them has heard something."

"Perhaps," Burkhalter relented.

Hochstetter started pacing back and forth across the room. "But which prisoner should I question? It needs to be someone from Hogan's inner circle but also someone we can perhaps convince to cooperate." Suddenly, Hochstetter stopped pacing and snapped his fingers. "I've got it," he declared. "Corporal Peter Newkirk."

This choice seemed to baffle Klink. "Newkirk?" he echoed.

"Ja," Hochstetter replied with enthusiasm. "Though I never had a chance to listen to the broadcast myself, I heard how he appeared on Berlin Betty's(1) radio program. Some might even consider it treason. Maybe he will prove sensible now and share any information he has. Klink, send Schultz to escort Newkirk here."

"And if Hogan insists on coming?" Klink wondered.

"Request denied," Hochstetter immediately answered. "Both you and General Burkhalter will be present to sit in on our conversation."

Burkhalter started to stand. "Klink will be," he stated. "Though your interrogation might prove quite interesting, I have some important calls to make. Since you'll be using the office here, I'll use the phone in the VIP quarters. I'll return as soon as I can."

"Then, Klink will have to do," declared Hochstetter. As Burkhalter headed for the door, Hochstetter grinned in anticipation. He glanced at Klink and ordered, "Klink, contact Schultz."

* * *

1 "Is There a Traitor in the House?"


	10. Chapter 10: The Interrogation

The group gathered in Hogan's quarters quickly returned to the common area and sat down at the table. Not long afterwards, Schultz entered the room.

"Something smells delicious," Schultz declared, glancing longingly at the pot of quickly cooling food that sat on the stove.

"Sorry, Schultzy, but there's scarcely enough for us," LeBeau told him.

"That is not why I am here," Schultz stated, the disappointment obvious in his voice. "Major Hochstetter wants me to escort Newkirk to the Kommandant's office for questioning."

"What about?" Hogan asked.

"I do not know," Schultz answered.

"All right, Newkirk, let's go find out what's ruffled Hochstetter's feathers this time," quipped Hogan, standing up and heading towards the door.

As Newkirk started to follow, Schultz protested, "But Colonel Hogan, you can't go."

Hogan removed his hand from the doorknob and glanced back. "Why not?" he snapped. "As the senior POW officer, I am concerned with the welfare of the other prisoners. I would like to be there."

"I'm sorry, Colonel Hogan," Schultz apologized. "If it were up to me, I'd let you go but I was given specific instructions that you are to remain here. Kommandant Klink will sit in on the interrogation."

Hogan gave Schultz an icy glare. "You can tell them I'm staying behind under protest," he growled.

"I will," Schultz promised. "But I am only doing my job."

Hogan's tone and expression softened a bit. "We know. You are only obeying the orders you were given. I just don't like being excluded from the interrogation."

"I'm sure everything will be fine," Schultz tried to reassure him.

"It better be," Hogan said, as Newkirk and Schultz left the room.

* * *

A few minutes later, Schultz and Newkirk entered Klink's office. Schultz quickly relayed Hogan's messages, then left.

Hochstetter stepped closer to Newkirk and gestured towards the chair in front of Klink's desk. "Sit down, Newkirk," he invited, trying to sound as pleasant as he could.

Newkirk gave Hochstetter a dubious look as he complied. "Thank you, Major," he acknowledged.

"Now, Newkirk, I suppose you are curious as to why you were brought here," Hochstetter began.

"I was wondering about that," Newkirk responded.

Giving Newkirk a smile as congenial as he could manage, Hochstetter walked over to stand beside the chair. "Your record indicates that you have co-operated in the past."

Newkirk pretended to be puzzled. "I have?"

Klink quickly explained, "You made that statement on Berlin Betty's program."

"Right," agreed Newkirk.

Hochstetter's eyes seemed to shoot invisible daggers in Klink's direction. "Klink, shut up. I'm handling this." Then, resuming a more pleasant tone, Hochstetter continued, "Now, Newkirk, we're hoping you might prove just as helpful this time. You've been a prisoner here for some time, haven't you?"

"That's right," Newkirk answered.

"And I'm sure that during that time you've heard all sorts of information from your fellow prisoners. Have you heard any mention of a Papa Bear?"

Newkirk appeared thoughtful. "Hmmm. I guess I have heard a mite. What would you like to know?"

Hochstetter grinned with anticipation. "His name, of course."

"Afraid I can't help you there, sir," Newkirk stated.

"Then, what about a description?" Hochstetter wondered. "Any idea how tall he is?"

Newkirk shrugged. "From what I hear, I'd say his height was average and he has dark hair."

"And his weight?"

"I'd guess it was average too," Newkirk responded.

"In kilos," Hochstetter prodded.

"Hard to say, Major. I'm not very good when it comes to weights."

"Any idea where he can be found?"

"He's supposed to have a house in the woods," replied Newkirk. "Him…and Mama Bear and Baby Bear."

Newkirk was surprised that Hochstetter failed to notice he was being duped. Instead, Hochstetter became quite excited and pulled a small notebook and pen from his pocket. After making a few notations, Hochstetter asked, "Can you provide any information about Mama Bear?"

"Well…she's obviously not as big as Papa Bear in height or weight," Newkirk answered, successfully hiding his amusement. "And I believe her hair is a tad lighter."

Hochstetter scribbled a few more notes. "And Baby Bear?"

"The smallest of the lot."

Thinking his search for Papa Bear had led him to a ring of spies, Hochstetter asked, "Anyone else?"

"Well, there was Goldilocks, but they weren't very happy to see her."

"One of ours, eh?" guessed Hochstetter, making yet another note in his book.

"I couldn't say, sir," Newkirk replied. "But they caught her sleeping in Baby Bear's bed."

"Any idea if she obtained any vital information?" Hochstetter wondered, as Burkhalter quietly entered the room.

Newkirk shook his head. "Not likely. She was alone. Baby Bear was out with the others."

"Then, why was she sleeping in Baby Bear's bed?"

"Tired, I guess," was Newkirk's response.

"All right, you said they caught her. What happened after that?"

Before Newkirk had a chance to answer, Burkhalter said, "She was so frightened she ran all the way home. It's a fairy tale."

"A fairy tale!" Hochstetter echoed, quite perturbed. Then, he glanced at Newkirk. "Is that what you've been telling me? A fairy tale?"

Undaunted, Newkirk calmly looked Hochstetter in the eye and said, "You wanted me to tell you everything I knew about Papa Bear, Major. I told you everything I could."

Now that Burkhalter was present, Klink wasn't quite so intimidated. "He's right, Major Hochstetter," Klink declared. "You asked if he'd heard any mention of a Papa Bear."

"Klink, I told you to shut up!" Hochstetter practically shouted, releasing some of his fury on Klink. "I wasn't referring to fairy tales." Hochstetter paused a moment, then seemed to reach a conclusion. "Wait a minute, Klink. Did you know he was describing a fairy tale?"

"Ja, I thought he was," Klink admitted.

"Then, why didn't you say something?" Hochstetter snarled.

A little more timid than before, Klink replied, "You told me to shut up so I did."

Burkhalter stared at Hochstetter in contemplation. "Hochstetter, you've never heard the story of 'Goldilocks and the Three Bears?' " he wondered.

"Vater(1) always said fairy tales were nonsense and banned them from our home. When I grew older, I fully agreed." Then, Hochstetter turned his attention back to Newkirk. "Now, Newkirk, let me rephrase my earlier question. Have you heard anyone mention the Allied operative known as Papa Bear?"

Of course, Newkirk wasn't about to expose their operation so he relied on half-truths and distractions. "Only a few rumors from the guards that you think it's Colonel Hogan," Newkirk answered. "If you don't mind me asking, sir, just how can he accomplish it? I mean, he's stuck here with the rest of us in the toughest POW camp in all of Germany. You know, there hasn't been a successful escape from here-not one."

"I was wondering the same thing," Burkhalter agreed. "Especially since I myself can verify his presence in camp and not at the factory last night."

A frustrated Hochstetter shoved the notebook and pen back into his pocket. "Bah. Think what you will, but I still say Hogan is not the harmless prisoner he'd like us to believe. One of these days I will prove it." With that, Hochstetter stormed from the room.

"Does this mean the interrogation is over?" Newkirk asked.

"Looks like it," Burkhalter answered. "You're free to go."

"Thank you, sir," acknowledged Newkirk, as he stood to leave. He hurried out the door and past Hilda's desk.

When Newkirk stepped outside, he noticed that Hochstetter was nowhere in sight. It was only then he allowed his true feelings to show. As he headed towards Barracks 2, a huge grin spread across his face. He figured Hochstetter would not be asking for any more of his 'help' in the near future.

* * *

(1) Father


End file.
